I'm writing to you from my parents’ living room, here in Eagle Rock. Like most of the west coast it is remarkably wet and cold at present, and far from the ‘California dream' that The Mamas & The Papas famously reminisced about in song.
The drive down Interstate 5 this week had us lamenting and reminiscing too. I wrote a couple years ago, nearly to the day, about a harrowing journey down (if you're rained in - or snowed in- this morning you can read about that here). In many ways, there has been an unsettling sense of deja vu about it all. Facing a series of delays and detours once again this year, and a sense of deja vu beyond the extreme weather and the difficulty arriving, Like so many others, waiting nervously on rapid test results, self-quarantining for appropriate durations before being able to see loved ones. Negotiating between perceived or understood risks with psychological and emotional well being.
I've been trying my best to shake the "we've seen this before..." feeling the past couple days. And this morning I'm trying to focus on an inverse perspective, and on clear examples of opposite truths. Thinking on the new eyes and a new tiny face in the backseat of the car this time down. Thinking on faces we won't see on this visit, or ever again. Thinking on years of drought while looking out on a soaked neighborhood, a most welcome rain falling steadily now. Thinking on seasons of fire and air pollution, days and weeks checking the AQI, and glad that film has ended, for now and for a while at least.
Though some sense of deja vu drags on - and as we face familiar trials and challenges - I hope the new year yields new joys too. Or perhaps an awareness of simple delights that remain, that persist. Perhaps a sense of jamais vu. Delights both plain and present but not always immediately recognized. Or better yet, presque vu... joys so close, so on the tip of our tongue we just need to speak them. Just need to sing about them. And maybe someday reminisce about them.
Happy New Year from OAKLAND YARD.
Cheers,
Daniel